I’ve been thinking about balance lately and had a realization the other day. I’ve been putting a lot of focus on a particular area of my life for quite a while. The reason I’ve been doing this is because I feel that this is a “problem” area. It’s important to me, something that I want to “fix”, so I spend a lot of time thinking about it.Read More
The chakra system is a foundation piece for understanding the energy systems of your body. However, the way that I have learned about and think about the chakra system is different than how most others typically talk about it.
Chakras are energy centers in the body, and the seven main chakras are located along the spinal column. If you’ve heard of chakras before, it’s likely been through yoga, reiki, or meditation with reference to opening or balancing blocked chakras. The general idea being that for optimal health and harmony, you want to have all your chakras open so energy can flow through them freely. If there are blockages or disturbances, then this causes physical, mental or emotional imbalances which show up as various symptoms, pain or disease.Read More
During my dark times, when I was silently suffering the most, one of the worst things was the shame I had around how my emotional pain was affecting me.
I have always identified myself as a strong, smart, capable, independent person. So, when I found myself in a chronic situation of struggling to keep it together, I was very ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know how bad things really were.
I thought it meant that I was weak, and I didn’t want anyone to see that. My belief was that a strong person should be able to hold it together, whereas weak people cannot.Read More
Every person (including you) on this planet is wonderful, worthy, and delightfully unique in their own way. That’s the positive side of being “special.” When you celebrate yourself in this way, it feels good to say you’re special!
On the flip side, many people consider themselves “special” in a negative way (although usually without consciously using that word). The feeling of being special shows up in thoughts like, “No one understands me,” or “Why does this always happen to me,” or “I’m never going to be able to change.”Read More
Recently I was helping a friend with a project that she was extremely stressed out about. Although there was still a week before the deadline and the work was progressing just fine, she could not help but feel the pressure.
At one point when we were working, she said something like, “I really need to go to the bathroom, but I don’t have time to pee! I can’t go now, I HAVE to keep working on this!”Read More
Sometimes clients tell me that they think it’s bad to get angry. They think that they should be happy, calm, patient, etc., and so if they feel angry then they’re somehow failing or not being a good person.Read More
Changing a few words around may seem irrelevant to the overall meaning, but the energy behind the two statements is vastly different.
PLAYING TO WIN is positive, determined, hopeful, empowered and abundant.
PLAYING NOT TO LOSE is fearful, wavering, doubtful, and needy.Read More
Most of us spend a lot of time in our heads, and by that I mean our minds are going and we’re constantly thinking. Being logical and trying to figure things out using the sheer force of our brains. That's something that's really valued in our society and it's generally what's expected. So we spend so much time in the mental thinking realm that we actually lose touch with the rest of our body.Read More
If you’re like me, you probably were never really taught what to do with difficult or painful emotions.
My natural response as a child when I felt sad, mad, disappointed, hurt, etc., was something like, “This feels bad. I don’t like it. I need to do something to make this go away so I can feel better.”
Inadvertently, I learned that having a negative emotion meant that something was wrong. And being the good little problem solver that I am, I made it my job then to fix whatever was wrong so I could get rid of the bad feeling.
I believed that if I wanted to change a feeling, I needed to DO something (take an action).Read More
A few years ago when I first started learning better ways to handle my emotions, I tried following advice that told me I just needed to “feel my emotions.”
This made sense to me because up until that point, I knew that my habit was to suppress emotion. Contain it and hold it in so that no know could see what I was feeling. In hindsight, I don’t think I was as good at hiding my emotions as I thought. Still, it made me feel better not to be an emotional mess in front of others.
As I tried this new approach, I came to a quick conclusion:
Emotions can be very inconvenient!Read More
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day – unless you’re too busy;
then you should sit for an hour.” ~ Zen Proverb
I first heard this quote several years ago, and my immediate response was a laugh. I mean, it’s meant as a joke, right? A cute way of encouraging people to meditate more? Actually, the real humor is that the statement is paradoxically true!
When you’re really busy, feeling stressed, and your nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, you may think that you can’t afford to slow down. The pressure to do something and take action can be overwhelming.Read More
When you're feeling overstressed, that's a good indicator that you're in need of some self-replenishment (I could say "self-care", but that term has become too overused and its meaning distorted, so I'm not going to use it).
I'm not talking about getting a massage, manicure or taking a bubble bath, although it could be those things sometimes. Keep it simple. It's more about HOW you do things rather than WHAT you do.Read More
Today is my country’s day of independence which has me thinking a lot about freedom. As I write this, surprisingly enough, I just heard the roar of an F-16 flying over my house (saw it too, had to run outside to see what kind of jet it was, lol!) As we say in the Air Force, “The sound of freedom!” ✈
I’ve been fortunate enough to live at a time and place where there is an abundance of outer freedom. I have very few restrictions to where I can go, what I can do, who I can be.
Yet, I’ve noticed many times during my life that I’ve felt trapped. Stuck. Not free at all. It’s probably the worst feeling in the world to me.Read More
Ever notice how stress “management” feels like you’re shuffling your stress and tension around but never actually eliminating it?
That’s because stress management is a myth. If you want real relief from stress, you need to reduce stress, not manage it.Read More
When you’re stressing, the “fight or flight” part of your nervous system is activated. When the autonomic nervous system is activated in this way, you’re blocked off from receiving new information. Your thoughts get stuck in a loop and you end up recycling the same information over and over again. You can’t have a new thought or perspective. You’re limited to what you already know and have already tried.
You become entrapped, stuck in your own biology.Read More
Introducing…Two Word Wednesday!
Several days ago the phrase “Two Word Wednesday” popped into my head. The phrase has a certain ring to it that I really like. I decided to use this phrase as inspiration and a fun way to start writing and communicating more regularly.
Here’s how it’s going to work. I’ll choose two different words every week and write a blurb about them to share each Wednesday. I think of it a little bit like a word association, meaning I’ll just go with whatever comes to mind first!
The two words for this week are…(drumroll please)…”Action” and “Panda”! There’s no rhyme or reason as to how I chose these words. I cleared my mind and told myself that the first two words that came to me are the ones I would use…and these two words are what popped into my head.